I'm just bored

I have not yet started my internship or job, but I am quite bored as the forthcoming stories will explain and seeing as it is 9:40pm I don't want to go to bed (that's early even for me). So my day:

Precursor: my parents moved all of my stuff home while I was spending last week building the paper sculpture so I came home Saturday to a room I couldn't even walk into it was so full of boxes and the spare bedroom was the same. Excited to unpack? I think NOT. So I successfully procrastinated the entirety of Saturday making only a path to my bed by shoving things out of the way. This of course presented the problem in the morning of having to begin the unpacking in a serious kind of way.

Today: With these facts in mind and free time dwindling away, I began unpacking/repacking yesterday intensely. This type of thing i.e. change/ending of things/major life decisions, puts me in a funk of epic proportions so this morning I decided to finally go buy those black dress pants I need for waitressing (orthopedic shoes are already acquired). Well when I got to the mall I may or may not have taken a wrong turn and instead of heading directly for New York and Company and a speedy shopping trip I ended up in Old Navy and then H&M and then the Gap and well some damage was done. Honestly I never understood the concept of retail therapy before, but after this shopping spree that left me lugging 3 relatively large bags down the entire length of the mall I was nothing but giddy (sidenote for Dane dane: I bought a gold tank top-I couldn't help myself, it was on super sale at Gap and I wanted to be disgusted by it but was just completely in love with it. I blame you in the best possible way). Anyway this is the point where I was mentally prepared to quickly buy those black dress pants and get out of the mall (I went when it opened to avoid the people and this was now being thwarted by the excessive amount of time I spent buying everything except the main objective). So I get to New York and Company and BAM no dress pants to be found. Yeah. Standing there in wide-eyed disbelief I eventually came to and left. At this point I went to every single women's clothing store searching for long or tall pants and nothing was to be found. It is also the time when I realized it is May and not the season for dress pants. Well jeez people what kind of outrageous assumption is that, that women only where dresses/skirts to work in the summer?! What a bunch of bull crap. I did end up finding a pair in JcPenny, but I don't particularly like them. Actually that isn't necessarily true, I think I'm just bitter that I spent an entire hour scouring the mall for just one pair to try on. Honestly.

Shopping trip over: I returned home with a vengeance to organize my renewed bad mood away. It worked. Now I only have a bit more to do and I'm completely unpacked/repacked for the fall. And here is something random that I realized today: I have way to many pillows. It's obscene-I spend at least 5 minutes twice a day putting them on and off my bed because I can barely sit on it there are so many pillows. Where does one acquire so many pillows?! There are officially 15 medium sized pillows and a body pillow on my bed. I currently relocating them to new homes in different rooms.

Ok I will now stop writing random shit from day that is entirely of no consequence. At least it's 10pm now-a slightly more acceptable bed time.

blog revived

That's right the blog of Aimie's super awkward/hilarious life moments is renewed because I am now doing this volunteer thing that is resulting in too many weird stories to share with all of you individually. Therefore in the interest of not repeating myself incessantly I am bringing blog back to life.

Last Wednesday: It was my first day acting as the volunteer coordinator for the artist Steven Siegel's giant paper sculpture installation at the art museum in Wausau. This sounds quite fancy-all it really means is that I meet all the volunteers that stop in to work and tell them what to do. Or on this particular day it meant I was given 5 senior high school boys from an alternative school and had to open reams of paper for 2 hours in the morning. YEAH. Although listening to there conversations about their slutty cheating girlfriends and different drugs, I eventually got quite bored so this happened:

Boy using an exacto knife to open reams of paper "dude I almost cut my balls off!"

Me "I hope you wouldn't be able to manage that with such a small knife"

boy and friends in bug-eyed shock "oh shit!"

Boy "so Aimie what do you do?"

and thus ensued them peppering me with questions if Stevens Point is a good place to party. It was all very surreal.

Then in the afternoon one group of 8 middle school girls showed up who were super amped up and giggly and generally annoying as shit. This was bad enough to deal with, but then 8 Boys and Girls club middle schoolers showed up. At this point all of the really fantastically hilarious carpenter men I get to work worth looked at me in pity and the artist told to me it work. Which meant me rangling these little shits and generally running around like mad trying to find work for them. In other words it sucked. Mostly because it kept me from calmly working beside the aforementioned carpenter men making sarcastic comments.

The rest of the days so far have involved me working with old ladies, who I usually love working with since I am essentially a 90 year old woman trapped in a 22 year old body. BUT having to direct them and constantly re-introduce myself, explain the project and defend my career goals (why are older people so convinced that college students don't understand how to realistically get jobs, it's so frustrating). Anyway it's been well interesting and that's all I've got for now as I am friggin exhausted and want to go watch Parks and Rec or something equally hilarious to clear away all the tiredness of the day.

One last thing: I was taught how to use a nail gun by one of the carpenters and it was AWESOME and I exclaimed as much when using it, to which the little old lady next to me said "oh you are like a man!" Thanks lady, thanks.

Last day last day, ho-rah-rah

Precursor: I spent this week in a fog of sickness as the result from Dane dane's most epic bachelorette party on Saturday. It's not so much that I was hung over as that I stopped sleeping, I slept 1 hour Saturday night, 3 hours the next and 4 hours the next. It as wretched and I just kind of sat in a daze at work with a pulsing headache and feelings of imminent vomit.

Story: Today was my last day and it was glorious (we don't think about how I'll be working there next summer...). Every moment was better than the last with the sweet feelings of being closer to the final minutes of my life as an assembly line worker approaching. Leslie gave me a huge hug and invited me and Amanda to her wedding to the guy from prison next summer when he's out (I think I'm going to have to go just to witness such an odd event, but I'm going to need a bodyguard so I don't get kidnapped, molested, drugged or any many of other horrifying possibilities that seem to accompany this woman). Then the day ended and we ran out of there, into the locker room where we hugged all the ladies because they love us and we tasted the sweet sweet freedom of the outdoors and a future where I never have to enter that monotonous place again.

Dana monopolized me

I actually have a legitimate excuse as to why I have been so lacking in updates:

1. Dana's bachelorette and bridal shower was last weekend and I came home from work every day last week to an email from her, her mom and Jenna the other bridesmaid that needed attention and then I had all the crafty things to finish which I had procrastinated (shocker). So I was on super get wedding stuff done mode.

2. I'm working on the Jensen line with my favorite ginger so there really is barely anything of note because there aren't a bunch of crazy people running around and I've been so stressed that I spent most of my days zoning out or hashing out creative wedding ideas with Amanda or having her calm me down that it would all turn out ok.

***THE PAST 2 1/2 WEEKS***

Essentially what has become of me is that I have lost my bloody mind, but so has Amanda so I don't feel so freakish in my fall to madness. This resulted in us bursting into fits of hysterical laughter over the ridiculous things we would dream up, example:

I decided (with your encouragement mandy man) that my life in Point would be made significantly easier if I knew how to ride a bicycle so I decided to ask my friend Becky to show me how. Well when I told the ginger about this she got really excited and started imaginary a scenario to which I voiced my concerns that I would fall over and die. She then said that the worst that could happen was I run into a tree branch, poke my eye out and have to wear an eye patch (one guy working on the line this week has an eye patch). This mental image set us both off into delirious laughter and the tears started rolling down my cheeks and then Leslie wiped them away while shaking her head in confusion.

Another particular occasion when I was getting really excited last Friday about Dana's impending bachelorette party and started singing 'Bad Romance' and dancing around during the last hour when we were broken for 15 minutes. Then Leslie yelled at me to stop dancing and put the leg of my table back on and I said I didn't know how and what does she expect out of me I'm not a mechanic (sidenote: me and Leslie have a relationship where she will pretend to yell at me to do something to which I petulantly refuse, then we glare at each other and then burst into laughter and make faces at each other. don't judge me). Then she yells "Just stick it in and screw it!" to which I respond "That's what she said" and fall to the floor giggling. Then eye-patchy says, "She probably never been screwed like that before" which caused me to laugh even harder and blush and get the same reaction from Amanda. It was ridiculous.

That's pretty much it-I've gone insane. Done and done.

so much can happen in 15 minutes

Today Amanda left on her break and left me to work next to Leslie, who began a lengthy story about how her grandson was in the hospital with an allergic reaction to some mosquito bites. Then who comes over but Juan aka the 30-something-guy she told to ask me out and starts talking to her. When he walked away I was ready for her to make me feel awkward as hell but shocker, she started right back into the story where she left off so I thought I was home free from further awkwardness. Foolish me. A few minutes later he came back. They chatty-chatted for a bit then he left and she turned to me and said "You missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime" I was like "Leslie, he's really too old for me" and she said "Hmmm well see that's what great about Juan he doesn't care about age (sidenote: oh really the older man doesn't care how young the girl is, well duh) or size, he cares about what's inside." Then she went on to tell me her entire relationship history.

The awkwardness continued later on when she came over to me and Amanda and said "So guess what Ray (her fiance in jail for drugdealing) and me were talking about last night, he wants to have a kid when he gets out of jail. God damn I'm 47 years old and I'm fixed so I'd have to get unfixed and I told him hell no." Amanda responded with "and your kid would probably have down syndrome" and I nodded and advised against it. Ok I kind of loved how uncomfortable this was to hear.

the rest of the week

last catching up past...

Tuesday nothing happened of note.

Wednesday I wanted to grab Crystal by the throat and shake her voice box right out of her so she could never ask again what batch we were on. By 7.30am she had asked about it 3 times, because she was told at the beginning of the shift we were supposed to have a short day. My manager is a fool. Doesn't he understand that by telling her something of this import that she would never stop pestering every damn person she saw about when exactly we were leaving? Fool. Literally the rest of the day she bitched about how they kept adding extra batches and the guy running didn't help by lying to her that we had way more to do than we actually did just to piss her off. And as if this was not annoying enough, it was hotter than the pit of hell and we were short employees so on the line it was just me, her and Jason. Jason rant: this fucker is the laziest shit I've ever met, he never stands up, constantly fucks up, falls asleep, doesn't talk so never warns us when shit is happening, doesn't do things my way aka the quickest way and basically just gets in my way. Asshole. Oh and we didn't have a short day. It was really satisfying to see Crystal infuriated that they lied to her.

Thursday: everything was going along in it's usual horrid with spots of joking around with Andrew and Jerry until the end of the day when I look over at the bank of windows that face our parking lot and see a pillar of black smoke. Just as I'm about to raise a cry of alarm I see five guys run over to see it, which I then followed in suit to see a garbage truck on fire next to our parking lot. It was insane, then the firemen showed up and all was well.

Friday the certo line wasn't running so I got to work with Amanda. We talked solid for 8 hours, it made my throat hurt.

Monday gets its own post

still catching up-Monday of this past week

Monday began with a whole lot of sitting around because the guy running the line called in so they were scrambling to find someone to run it so they sent us down to what is called the re-work room. This delightful little space is a giant empty room with an industrial sink and some palettes where they put the products that get messed up and need to be reboxed/remelted/just fixed because the ingredients or machine fucked it up and people get sent there to do it when they have nothing else to do aka us. So we walk into the rework room and our job is thus, there are 100 boxes full of packets of dairy queen's hot fudge that need to be opened and squeezed into barrels and then the boxes crushed. Super fun.

This went on for an hour in which I heard Jason actually speak and found him to be just as dull as I had already stereotyped him to be, really just further proving that being judgmental isn't always so wrong. Here is how the conversation went that revealed his blandness:

andrew "so jason when does your radio show start?" (sidenote: yes the silent and sweaty boy is a disc-jockey. shocking and a waste of a radio spot)

jason "the first week of school"

andrew "do you talk about sports or like what do you talk about?"

jason "no they do the sports on the sports show before me and i try to talk as little possible"

*me trying to stifle my laughter and hide behind andrew so jason won't see me-i mean i don't want to hurt his feelings and andrew looking at me trying to hide his laughter*

they go on to talk about the sports at their schools and were talking about stupid football players and

then I said "yeah bros are the worst"

jason who hadn't heard me said "what are the worst?"

me "bros, you know *insert stupid man voice* 'dude i went to a kegger last night and it was awesome'"

*both andrew and jason look at me in utter confusion and frankly if you don't know what a bro is you probably are one*

at this point i feared having to actually talk to jason so i mentally checked out of the conversation and tried to avoid andrew and crystal getting hot fudge all over me-andrew because he's a weirdo and likes to throw things at me and crystal is just fucking messy.

Finally the line starts so we go back to work without Jason luckily and the rest of the day passed uneventfully.