second day

Work: Got trained by the super waiter Stephen tonight. He has been there for 7 years and is in my mind the wise guru of waiting. Compared to what happened to me last night, I would say he actually trained me. Meaning he first sat down and went through the entire menu explaining everything to me, then gave me a tour of where everything is kept, then introduced me to the entire kitchen staff and essentially is the man in my book right now. He also explained all the computer stuff (that shit is crazy complicated-damn abbreviations) and introduced me to all the tables we had. Then I told him I'd never tried to carry one of those big trays so he took me to a side room, loaded one up with silverware and made me carry it around. Yeah I'm terrible at that too. It is so friggin hard to not only hold it up since it's so heavy but keeping it level? Forget about it I can't do it. Then he replaced the silverware with 6 plates and covers all stacked and it was (shocker) even harder. At this point I got a little better....well nothing fell off. Still can't get through doors though.

Nothing else of note happened. Next week I am all on my own. I am not optimistic about the results. At least I haven't spilled anything on a member yet.

continued from the previous post

Ok being trained by a ginger (forgot to mention that): it was a bit insane and we only had 4 tables and I basically became the drink orderer/deliverer which wasn't so bad but all our tables were on the patio aka farthest from the well anything (wait station, computers, kitchen, air conditioning, water). The first table we had was delightful, they all had the buffet meaning no work for us and between the three of them they ordered enough glasses of wine to total 3 1/2 bottles so they were no trouble at all. Love wine-drunk rich people. BUT the second table we got was scary. It the was man who owns Kohler furniture (um YEAH) and his super bitchy wife. Basically we had to kiss some major ass and be on that table every second to make sure everything was peachy.

This is when I first biffed it in a major way. Their son had an ice cream cone that was melting while he was off playing and they asked me to put it in a freezer. Well I did that, but when I went to get it I foolishly tried to pick it up by the plate I had set it on. This is when it fell off the plate onto the ground. My train of thought "SHIT! shit shit shit shit shit, where is that ginger to help fix it?!oh crap oh crap oh crap. Why do I have this job?! gah!" Then I mentally slapped myself, picked it up off the ground, put it back on the plate and walked over to the table. I didn't tell them it fell, luckily it was melted beyond repair anyway so I told them I would just get another and bolted. My flight instincts are on fire these days.

Second biff wasn't my fault. The hostess never told us we had a third table so we never went over there and the guy got super pissed, complained and we got yelled at. It was scary. This lead to ever more ass kissing and hyper attention to make sure he didn't have to wait anymore.

Then after everyone was gone we had a set up to do in the main dining room and it was by far the worst part of the night. The entire wait staff was just standing around bitching while a few were actually working and it was crazy frustrating as I just wanted to get the hell out of there. Then it was finally over and I got to sleep.

Final assessment: even though I was essentially wearing orthopedic shoes my feet hurt like a bitch, not blister or cuts just more of a throbbing/on fire/aching kind of pain that didn't go away when I took off the shoes. I don't think my feet will ever recover from this job. Generally I'm just tired as all hell.

first day of everything

I actually have a bit of time to write about my first day as I seem to have 20 minutes to spare before I have to leave for the beginning of day two.

First moment of awkwardness at the country club: After parking my car I realize I have no idea which door to go in. This results in me standing looking lost in the parking lot and eventually darting for the loading dock door (I figure I know I'm not supposed to go in the front door-that's right I'm the help, not the member aka class divisions are still alive and well in Southern Wisconsin). Well I get inside and I am completely lost. This is because although I was given a tour it was when I was (to be blunt) really hungover from going out for Samwise's graduation and had just driven the 3 hours (construction) from Point. So I didn't remember any of it. Panicking I run to the offices (ok I didn't literally run, but I walked really fast), find an adult and she leads me upstairs to the kitchen where I walked right into the middle of the pre-dinner meeting where the entire wait-staff gave a once over (I wasn't in uniform yet) and it was not pleasant. The meeting ended right about then and I begged someone to show me the locker room where I changed and going back to the kitchen find that they make us dinner (YEAH no more pb&j in the car!). This is when I start getting pretty fucking terrified as well I've never served before and no one seemed to be understanding that I had no idea what the fuck was going on or where to be or what anything was. Then lucky for me I found a girl who was cussing up a storm and essentially I latched onto her (her bluntness "I'm not serving that woman she is a ho" and potty mouth endeared her to me), peppered her with questions and then found out who was training me.

The girl training me: LOVE her, she was spazzy (up working another job since 5am, SEE I'm not the only crazy one here people I was only up at 8am working), hilarious, sarcastic, nice and really good at explaining things.

(gotta leave now so this story will be continued in another post about all the crazy shit that happened to me)

I'm just bored

I have not yet started my internship or job, but I am quite bored as the forthcoming stories will explain and seeing as it is 9:40pm I don't want to go to bed (that's early even for me). So my day:

Precursor: my parents moved all of my stuff home while I was spending last week building the paper sculpture so I came home Saturday to a room I couldn't even walk into it was so full of boxes and the spare bedroom was the same. Excited to unpack? I think NOT. So I successfully procrastinated the entirety of Saturday making only a path to my bed by shoving things out of the way. This of course presented the problem in the morning of having to begin the unpacking in a serious kind of way.

Today: With these facts in mind and free time dwindling away, I began unpacking/repacking yesterday intensely. This type of thing i.e. change/ending of things/major life decisions, puts me in a funk of epic proportions so this morning I decided to finally go buy those black dress pants I need for waitressing (orthopedic shoes are already acquired). Well when I got to the mall I may or may not have taken a wrong turn and instead of heading directly for New York and Company and a speedy shopping trip I ended up in Old Navy and then H&M and then the Gap and well some damage was done. Honestly I never understood the concept of retail therapy before, but after this shopping spree that left me lugging 3 relatively large bags down the entire length of the mall I was nothing but giddy (sidenote for Dane dane: I bought a gold tank top-I couldn't help myself, it was on super sale at Gap and I wanted to be disgusted by it but was just completely in love with it. I blame you in the best possible way). Anyway this is the point where I was mentally prepared to quickly buy those black dress pants and get out of the mall (I went when it opened to avoid the people and this was now being thwarted by the excessive amount of time I spent buying everything except the main objective). So I get to New York and Company and BAM no dress pants to be found. Yeah. Standing there in wide-eyed disbelief I eventually came to and left. At this point I went to every single women's clothing store searching for long or tall pants and nothing was to be found. It is also the time when I realized it is May and not the season for dress pants. Well jeez people what kind of outrageous assumption is that, that women only where dresses/skirts to work in the summer?! What a bunch of bull crap. I did end up finding a pair in JcPenny, but I don't particularly like them. Actually that isn't necessarily true, I think I'm just bitter that I spent an entire hour scouring the mall for just one pair to try on. Honestly.

Shopping trip over: I returned home with a vengeance to organize my renewed bad mood away. It worked. Now I only have a bit more to do and I'm completely unpacked/repacked for the fall. And here is something random that I realized today: I have way to many pillows. It's obscene-I spend at least 5 minutes twice a day putting them on and off my bed because I can barely sit on it there are so many pillows. Where does one acquire so many pillows?! There are officially 15 medium sized pillows and a body pillow on my bed. I currently relocating them to new homes in different rooms.

Ok I will now stop writing random shit from day that is entirely of no consequence. At least it's 10pm now-a slightly more acceptable bed time.

blog revived

That's right the blog of Aimie's super awkward/hilarious life moments is renewed because I am now doing this volunteer thing that is resulting in too many weird stories to share with all of you individually. Therefore in the interest of not repeating myself incessantly I am bringing blog back to life.

Last Wednesday: It was my first day acting as the volunteer coordinator for the artist Steven Siegel's giant paper sculpture installation at the art museum in Wausau. This sounds quite fancy-all it really means is that I meet all the volunteers that stop in to work and tell them what to do. Or on this particular day it meant I was given 5 senior high school boys from an alternative school and had to open reams of paper for 2 hours in the morning. YEAH. Although listening to there conversations about their slutty cheating girlfriends and different drugs, I eventually got quite bored so this happened:

Boy using an exacto knife to open reams of paper "dude I almost cut my balls off!"

Me "I hope you wouldn't be able to manage that with such a small knife"

boy and friends in bug-eyed shock "oh shit!"

Boy "so Aimie what do you do?"

and thus ensued them peppering me with questions if Stevens Point is a good place to party. It was all very surreal.

Then in the afternoon one group of 8 middle school girls showed up who were super amped up and giggly and generally annoying as shit. This was bad enough to deal with, but then 8 Boys and Girls club middle schoolers showed up. At this point all of the really fantastically hilarious carpenter men I get to work worth looked at me in pity and the artist told to me it work. Which meant me rangling these little shits and generally running around like mad trying to find work for them. In other words it sucked. Mostly because it kept me from calmly working beside the aforementioned carpenter men making sarcastic comments.

The rest of the days so far have involved me working with old ladies, who I usually love working with since I am essentially a 90 year old woman trapped in a 22 year old body. BUT having to direct them and constantly re-introduce myself, explain the project and defend my career goals (why are older people so convinced that college students don't understand how to realistically get jobs, it's so frustrating). Anyway it's been well interesting and that's all I've got for now as I am friggin exhausted and want to go watch Parks and Rec or something equally hilarious to clear away all the tiredness of the day.

One last thing: I was taught how to use a nail gun by one of the carpenters and it was AWESOME and I exclaimed as much when using it, to which the little old lady next to me said "oh you are like a man!" Thanks lady, thanks.

Last day last day, ho-rah-rah

Precursor: I spent this week in a fog of sickness as the result from Dane dane's most epic bachelorette party on Saturday. It's not so much that I was hung over as that I stopped sleeping, I slept 1 hour Saturday night, 3 hours the next and 4 hours the next. It as wretched and I just kind of sat in a daze at work with a pulsing headache and feelings of imminent vomit.

Story: Today was my last day and it was glorious (we don't think about how I'll be working there next summer...). Every moment was better than the last with the sweet feelings of being closer to the final minutes of my life as an assembly line worker approaching. Leslie gave me a huge hug and invited me and Amanda to her wedding to the guy from prison next summer when he's out (I think I'm going to have to go just to witness such an odd event, but I'm going to need a bodyguard so I don't get kidnapped, molested, drugged or any many of other horrifying possibilities that seem to accompany this woman). Then the day ended and we ran out of there, into the locker room where we hugged all the ladies because they love us and we tasted the sweet sweet freedom of the outdoors and a future where I never have to enter that monotonous place again.

Dana monopolized me

I actually have a legitimate excuse as to why I have been so lacking in updates:

1. Dana's bachelorette and bridal shower was last weekend and I came home from work every day last week to an email from her, her mom and Jenna the other bridesmaid that needed attention and then I had all the crafty things to finish which I had procrastinated (shocker). So I was on super get wedding stuff done mode.

2. I'm working on the Jensen line with my favorite ginger so there really is barely anything of note because there aren't a bunch of crazy people running around and I've been so stressed that I spent most of my days zoning out or hashing out creative wedding ideas with Amanda or having her calm me down that it would all turn out ok.

***THE PAST 2 1/2 WEEKS***

Essentially what has become of me is that I have lost my bloody mind, but so has Amanda so I don't feel so freakish in my fall to madness. This resulted in us bursting into fits of hysterical laughter over the ridiculous things we would dream up, example:

I decided (with your encouragement mandy man) that my life in Point would be made significantly easier if I knew how to ride a bicycle so I decided to ask my friend Becky to show me how. Well when I told the ginger about this she got really excited and started imaginary a scenario to which I voiced my concerns that I would fall over and die. She then said that the worst that could happen was I run into a tree branch, poke my eye out and have to wear an eye patch (one guy working on the line this week has an eye patch). This mental image set us both off into delirious laughter and the tears started rolling down my cheeks and then Leslie wiped them away while shaking her head in confusion.

Another particular occasion when I was getting really excited last Friday about Dana's impending bachelorette party and started singing 'Bad Romance' and dancing around during the last hour when we were broken for 15 minutes. Then Leslie yelled at me to stop dancing and put the leg of my table back on and I said I didn't know how and what does she expect out of me I'm not a mechanic (sidenote: me and Leslie have a relationship where she will pretend to yell at me to do something to which I petulantly refuse, then we glare at each other and then burst into laughter and make faces at each other. don't judge me). Then she yells "Just stick it in and screw it!" to which I respond "That's what she said" and fall to the floor giggling. Then eye-patchy says, "She probably never been screwed like that before" which caused me to laugh even harder and blush and get the same reaction from Amanda. It was ridiculous.

That's pretty much it-I've gone insane. Done and done.