a breakup letter

Dear Certo line,

I can't say I am sorry to say that I am leaving you for the Jensen line and my friend Amanda, I'm actually quite elated. Our relationship for the past 6 weeks has been rather dismal. You have left me with crippled hands that won't ever work right again, bleeding fingers and never fully heal under your reign of terror and you have given me numerous bruises all over my arms and legs. This is nothing compared to the emotional damage you have inflicted on me. My mind has snapped leaving me laughing in hysteric half laughing/half crying in attempts to see the good in our relationship, but it doesn't exist. In short you are an abusive bitch. I have given you everything; I try every day to anticipate your every need and fulfill it, I may cuss at you sometimes but I also sing to you and before we were together I even said I liked you to multiple people. I looked for your redeeming qualities and continue to beat me. So it is over. It's not me, it's you. I hope never to see you again.

Sincerely,

Aimie